Author & Blogger Zerrick Rafael give us his story of when he came out to his mother after graduating from college.

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So here is one I am sure some of you will thoroughly enjoy while others may have a bit of an issue with.

My first lover I met in Philadelphia when I was in college. He was your typical straight man gone gay, except for the fact that he made the transition without doing the dl, closet case thing. We dated the entire two years that I was in college, and right around the time that I graduated he got offered a job as an executive with a huge record label in New York. Which meant that he would have to move, and since he didn’t want to give me up, he asked me to marry him, and move to NY with him.

Graduation neared and I still had not told my parents that I was moving to New York for what ever reason. They weren’t able to come up for my graduation so as a graduation present to me, Jay flew us down to Atlanta. We arrived on a Friday and stayed the entire weekend. I still had not told my mother that I wasn’t planning on coming back home. Well, Sunday came and so did Sunday dinner, with my brothers, sister, mother, etc. We piled around the table all of us Jay (my Fiancee) included, and began dinner.

Well my mom started talking about how proud of me she was that I was done with college and my sister asked me what were my plans after graduation. Before I could answer Jay spoke up, “He’s moving to New York”. My mother all excited asked why, what was in New York. I explained to her that I would be doing some auditioning for Broadway. My mother asked why couldn’t I come home for a while before running off to New York, and Jay chimed in very calmly again, “He can’t come back down here to Atlanta, we have to be in New York a week after he graduates.”

My mother said with a very puzzled expression on his face. We? And Jay replied “Yes, I just got a new job in New York and Rafael and I have to be in New York a week after he graduates. He can’t come running home to Atlanta for God knows how long I need him in New York with me.” Well, everyone at the table stopped eating. They all stared at Jay like he had grown two heads. My sister was the first to say something, and really she didn’t say anything at all she just burst out laughing. My mother took a look around the table and said really sternly. “Who the hell are you?” But before I could say anything Jay reached up and grabbed me by the hand. My mother took one look at him holding my hand took a sip of her tea, and said real calmly. “Will someone please pass me the cornbread?”

And that is how I came out to my family. Minimal drama, but drama all the same…

Today we start our annual “Coming Out to my Mother” series where you the readers send us your stories of you coming out to your Mother and tell us how did it happen, what was the reaction, and how’s your relationship now with your mother. For the past four years we have always used the week before Mothers Day to shed light on mother/son relationships and hope that the stories highlighted will be an encouragement to those who may be going through similar situations.

First up today is LGBT blogger Andre Allen. While his story is more so on the line of coming out to his family as a whole, it’s a storythat many may be able to relate to.

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Wow…well my coming out story is a story of a boy who grew up in the church and took in a lot of the church activities as a youth. As I began to get into finding out who I was and where my life would take me, I came to the realization that indeed I was attracted to the same sex. At first, it was a scary thing that I couldn’t come to grips with. I honestly believe that rejection from girls that I were attracted to, played a crucial factor in this part as well.

I was raised in a Jamaican household were gays were looked down upon and ridiculed
Despite my family’s Jamaican roots, I felt that my decision to come out to them would be fine based on their love and dedication. I was wrong! My grandmother told me i was going to hell and that it was an abomination and started quoting bible scriptures to me. Deep down, I knew it hurt her that her eldest grandchild would not bare her any great grandkids and because of that she lashed out at me.

My aunt would wake me up early every morning for about a month yelling and screaming “FAGGOT” and that she hated me. Although the words of my family have hurt me it has also made me the stronger person I am today.

My mother, even-though she does not approve, has come to grips with my sexuality. I have been estranged from my family for the last 10 years. Recently, the death of my father last month brought me and my mother back a little closer. We have never been a unified family but I have reached out more and hope that eventually time will heal all wounds.